From Darkness to Light

DarknessLight_Oct 29

Have you ever feared?

You may have just laughed and nodded, thinking “What kind of a question is that?” Of course, you’ve known fear—don’t we all?

I don’t think I would ever have considered myself a fearful person – not until I got married.  I think the closeness to other people brings that out – because there is more a fear of loss.  Before I got married I lived by myself in my own apt, I moved gladly around to different cities, traveled to different countries. I was actually quite independent – though I did have close relationships.  Now, I hate it when my mister is gone and it’s just me in the house with my two littles.  I have trouble falling asleep and I have to quote verses to myself in order to calm my anxious heart.

My greatest struggle is the fear of rejection, or rather the fear of man. I think I’ve known this tendency since I was little – but not until I came more into a relationship with Christ did I fully understand my need for salvation in this area. God doesn’t want me to fear man and strive for their accolades.  He wants me to rest in who He has made me to be and find my worth in Him.

I read a book Fear and Faith by Trillia Newbill and she outlined so many of these areas that women struggle with. These could range from fear of tragedy, the future, to physical appearance and sexual intimacy.  In every single chapter – I was convicted by some of her thoughts (totally based in Scripture backed up by personal experience – not the other way around) – and I was placed gently in the hands of the Almighty who doesn’t want me to fear but wants me to trust completely in Him.

Often times we can be consumed with the thoughts of others. I see this in my marriage a lot. I always want to know what my mister thinks of my outfit, the food I cooked, etc.  I want him to realize that I cleaned this or that and am always looking for his approval. But I also see this in my relationship with those who have authority – whether a positional authority or those who I think are ahead of me in the game (motherhood, entrepreneur, etc). I highly regard their opinion so I strive to impress them.

So often we fear what others think of us.

Why else do you think we post selfies so much?  Most of us aren’t going to post a selfie when our hair is a mess, we have no makeup on, we’ve just gotten out of bed, and we still have on pajamas.

We want everyone to think we have our lives together.  We want to weigh a certain amount or look a certain way. Maybe that’s a way of keeping control on some things when the rest of our life feels like it’s falling apart. We have a fear of not being in control.

But in all of this fear we need the reminder of the cross. Go to Jesus, lay this fear down at His feet. We cannot conquer this on our own, and there is beauty hidden in that fear. The very thing, which seems to draw us into darkness, can also pull us back to the light when we realize we cannot do this on our own.

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world. –John 16:33