When you’re dating, holding hands is one of the first big milestones. Getting there can be awkward, but once you’re holding hands, you feel it…”We’re a couple.” Holding hands when married can be much the same. It can be a little awkward at times, but it can also carry the same “We’re a couple!” feeling.
Did you ever do any school lunch trading when you were a kid? You know…you look in the lunch bag your mom packed and you find something you really don’t want. Something you would like to trade for something else. Marriage can be that way. A few years into your marriage, you can find things in the […]
When I talk about 3 ways to make time, I am not talking about sexual encounters or getting to a destination quicker. I’m talking about dealing with the pressure of feeling like you need more time. We often talk about needing to make time for things like our marriage, our kids, our friends, our hobbies, our health, […]
Every baseball player wants to hit a home run. They want to know that feeling of seeing the ball go over the fence. The same is true in marriage. We all want a marriage that powerfully connects and soars over the fence. We all want a home run marriage. But what about those of us […]
My spouse and I differ in a lot of ways, but there’s one very big difference between us. It’s not related to money, or sex, or kids, or in-laws. It’s much more serious. It’s about super hero movies vs Hallmark movies. This difference has been there from the day we got married, and it produces groans and […]
Ever notice the difference between the dating couples from the married couples in a restaurant? The dating couples are animated. They’re looking at each other, leaning into the conversation, laughing, asking questions, and telling stories.
Remember when your marriage was young? Remember the fun, the anticipation, the magic? Does your marriage still feel magical or has it become more mechanical? If your marriage seems more mechanical than magical, there are three keys to getting the magic back. I found them in a Steve Carrell movie called “The Incredible Burt Wonderstone.”
“What happened to the person I married?” “Where did that person go?” “I want that person back.” This is not the person I thought I was marrying.” “This isn’t the spouse I wanted!” Most people who have been married for any length of time have thought these things, even if they weren’t brave enough to […]
We never really outgrow the desire to be liked by others. We can be a grown adult with children and grandchildren, and still be concerned about whether people like us. We don’t approach people and ask, “Do you like me?” That’s way too elementary school. Instead, we look for affirmation in other ways…
In the last post, we talked about what it means to have a “normal marriage.” Here’s a quick recap: Everyone’s marriage is “normal”…for them. There are parts of “normal” that work and should be kept. There are parts of “normal” that don’t work and should be tweaked. The key to making your normal marriage good is figuring out […]