“With these qualities active and growing in your lives, no grass will grow under your feet, no day will pass without its reward as you mature in your experience of our Master Jesus.” 2 Peter 1:9-10
When I was in college, I was very active in my local church. It was a small church, but firm in faith and teaching. My brother, Joseph, started going there when he was in college, so I followed suit. He led worship and invited me to sing with him on Sundays. I happily agreed. It was an opportunity to do something I love and have bonding time with my brother. I was also involved in leading a girls group with my sister-in-law on Wednesday nights. It was fulfilling for me. I felt like I was doing a good thing and enjoyed every bit of it.
In the final year I was there, I felt different. It occurred to me that over the past months I was basically living a double life. I was leading worship on Sundays, but not living out my faith the rest of the week. I never opened my Bible during the week, only on Sundays. I wasn’t really involved in Wednesday night church anymore. I had become lethargic, introversive, and downright lazy. When I finally realized it, I prayed about what I needed to do. The Lord gave me an answer. Frankly, it was one that I didn’t like, but I knew that I needed to listen and act. I decided to step down from leading worship. I was still there every Sunday I could be, but I just could not lead worship knowing my heart was not in the place it should be.
I needed to get my heart right. I was in a stagnant place in my faith, and I needed to be growing instead. I took this opportunity to dig into the Word and the Lord taught me so much during that time. He made evident my selfishness and slothfulness. Hebrews 6:11-12 says, “And we desire each one of you to show the same earnestness to have the full assurance of hope until the end, so that you may not be sluggish, but imitators of those who through faith and patience inherit the promises.” I was definitely not an imitator, but I was faker. I felt so guilty, but the Lord was quickly changing my heart to have joy in Him again.
I began finding Jesus in the little things again, in every detail of my life. The Lord became a part of my daily routine, not just my Sunday mornings. I was encouraged by my family and my church family. Having a wonderful church community helped to keep my focus on the Lord. Also, I was in constant prayer. Talking to my Father and seeking Him first in all things is what kept me going. I found my joy and my voice again. Psalm 87:7 says, “As they make music they will sing, ‘All my fountains are in You.’” Now whenever I sing, I remember this verse. I am not singing empty words any more, everything I have is because the Lord has blessed me with it and all my fountains are found in Him.